Standing for Peace, Quiet, and Stillness

Blog at home while Noah is off from school?  Impossible, perhaps...we'll see.  Between tv and a new game on my iphone, that should give me about 15 minutes :-).

Standing for Peace, Quiet and Stillness

I don't know about you, but there are times when I would do ANYTHING for the sound of Silence.  With a now-5-year-old running around the house, quiet is anything but the norm.

I can tell that my body CRAVES quiet.  I can tell in this moment that my body LOVES the silence.

I am sitting in my favorite chair near the window.  As soon as I sat down, got myself settled into a comfortable position and turned on my laptop, I could feel my pulse quiet down.  Like a thirsty body after a long workout,  I could feel my body soaking up the peace.  I could feel....

(Phone Just Rang.  I think I had a whopping five minutes of silence until my focus went unfocused...and now my five-year-old is insisting that he sits on my lap!)

Back to the feeling...I could feel each cell in my body uncontract as I anticipated an uninterrupted period of solo time.

No such thing.

And now, as Noah is leaning against me (can't sit on my lap 'cause of the laptop), wiggling his body, and now back to jumping on the sofa, my Stand for Peace, Quiet and Stillness is defunct. 

Good feeling gone
Where did that good feeling go?

Phone rang again....yes, I answered it, ug!


I think the good feeling is gone for good.


While on the phone, I noticed myself listening at only 50%.  The craving in my body STILL EXISTED and it was SCREAMING AT ME to GET OFF THE PHONE!!

Like my Noah who screams at me while I am on the phone because he wants my attention, my body was screaming at me to get off the phone, to pay attention to my self, and get back to my writing and quiet time. 

LISTEN UP!
Ahhh, I did it.  I listened.  I listened to my body, my craving, my inner voice.  I gracefully interrupted my caller who was in a talkative mood, told her honestly that I wasn't 100% present, and let her know I would call her back.

Relief!

I can breathe again.  I can now remember the good feeling of cells uncontracting.  I can feel my body starting to relax.  I can feel my lungs receiving more air.  And I sense I slight vulnerability.  The uncontraction brings with it a sense of sadness....of release.

Stuffed Feelings
Perhaps the feelings are not so much about what is happening in the moment.  It senses like the feelings are more about stuffed emotions of long ago.... the emotions locked away in the contracted cells.  The emotions stuck in place with the LACK of peace, quiet and uncontraction.  The sadness buried in the go, go, go (and incoming phone calls) of LIFE!

Just a thought...

Gotta Go.  Peace and Quiet Time is Up.