Family of Two vs. Family of Three

In my life as a single mom, I have the opportunity to experience being BOTH a mom with a Family of Two AND, at times, a mom with a Family of Three.

Family of Two
In most of my everyday life, I am a single mom, caring for a FIVE YEAR OLD (I say that with expression, because today is my son's birthday!), doing the typical activities of a single mom.  For the purpose of standing for Single Mom's, this is the perspective I write from.  A journey in and of itself.

Family of Three
Today I have the chance to reflect upon my part-time experience of a being a Family of Three.  On the occasions when I go to visit Noah's dad, (or in this case, Noah's dad visiting us this weekend) we are together as a family of three.  (At some later date, I'll fill you in on some of the details surrounding the separation of this family...for now, I'll just say that, well, a long-distance relationship is what we are choosing).

The Experience
Funny thing, what Life brings us to experience.  What I notice about myself is that...in the days of Family of Two, I am preoccupied with all the Families of Three, Four, Five.  "THEY have it all!"...a voice inside usually comments.  "They have what I want," is a common theme.  They live what my mind creates as the Perfect Life....The Illusion.

Well, this weekend, I had what I wanted.  There was no "THEY".  The THEY was US.  We were a Family of Three for about 41 hours.

And, as Life would have it, that was yet another chance to watch my mind's voices do their thing.

Enjoying the Moment?
My personal challenge for the weekend visit was to be present...to the life that was unfolding for those 41 hours.  Being present to the experience is as challenging for me whether I am a Family of Two or a Family of Twenty!

I watched how I strategized the "Perfect" Saturday.  Walmart for the bicycle.  Subway for picnic lunch.  Piedmont Park for bike riding, baseball and frisbee. Taxco for Mexican soup.

I watched how I went in and out of the Moment while at Piedmont Park.  IN - enjoying the synchronicity of a perfect parking space.  OUT - having to find the Perfect spot to put down the blanket.  IN - enjoying the adrenaline of playing Frisbee.  OUT - watching the other "Parkers" doing their park thing and wanting their experience (interesting how my mind created the infamous "they" right there out of the blue).  IN - walking briskly to keep up with the Birthday Boy on his new bike.  OUT - preoccupied with what we were going to do next.

The people who do not experience this particular life challenge may think, Insanity!  Those with whom this resonates may think, Normality! 

It is what it is... until it isn't
The Best that I can offer to other single mother sufferers of perfectionism and comparison is that it is what it is....

It is what I do.  It is the habit of this particular identity.

But, the more I try to change it, complain about it, force myself to be different, the more I stay the same.

However, the more I watch what my mind does, and simply watch it from a distance, the more space I have to chuckle at it and let it be.  And the more space I have to accept what is.

Of course I would want the perfect weekend!  Of course I would want the perfect experience!  Of course I would compare!  And of course it would not be perfect!

It is what it is!  It is what these voices do!

And, the more I accept what it is..., the more often I experience what it isn't.

Future note:  Looking forward to sharing the Family of Four experience when we visit with Noah's dad and his daughter over Spring Break.  :-)